Funny or Sad? Hmmm, I'll go with funny!

Check out this link, it's the Artistic Photo Gallery Of Star Trek And Star Wars Fans Dressed Up As Characters! ha ha

I think some of the photos are really clever, and I especially like the picture of the 2 Klingons sitting in a white room...

And then there's the Gallery Of Women In Princess Leia Golden Bikinis at http://www.geekologie.com/2008/08/post_45.php -- I thought it was geekily funny that there's a website for Princess Leia's golden bikini.

Now THOSE people have too much time on their hands... LOL

Sad but true...

Click the picture for a better view...

Last cottage pics

I bought a sign, to add to my cousin's collection... and it's very appropriate for the "Girls On Tour" crew -- limes anyone??

I'd promised a few more pics of up north, and these are mostly for the "Girls On Tour" group. Those who've been up north have seen the eyesore that was the steps from the yard to the water...

The rickety steps, the picky pine needles, and the warped and uneven planking at the bottom leading to the dock...

Fast forward to 2008... and a LOT of money later... Tiered landscaping!

Two chaises with tiki torches, solar lighting!
Cobblestone!

And soft grass for your feet!
Ahh, it's so nice now...

Joke for the day...

My cousin sent me this, and I think it bears inclusion here... it's hilarious!

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement,job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_____________________________________
DATE OF BIRTH_____________HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________
DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES______________________________
HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: ________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________
If less than your age, explain_______________________________________ ________________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? __Yes __No
IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.

ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?
__________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?__________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?
__________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend _____________________________________________
How often you attend ___________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
mother? _____________
pastor? _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want to be shot would be:_____________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:_______________________________________________________
C: A woman's place is in the:_______________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? __________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:________________________________________________________
G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.

_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

Mother's Signature _______________________________

Father's Signature _______________________________

________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might watch your back).

To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating (below).

Rules for Dating

Rule One:If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peek at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open-minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early'.

Rule Six:I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka -- zipped up to her throat. Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a sand dune near Kuwait. When the nerve agent's effects start acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car -- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Sincerely - Mom & Dad

Welcome to the cottage!

Warning -- this post is very photo-heavy!! :-)

Hi all! Boy, am I sad to be back at work after my "vacation" weekend... Ever notice how you work and work, getting close to your vacation or time off, and when you come back it feels like you never left?? That's really depressing! ha ha

Our weekend at the cottage was very relaxing... fun... and... solitary. Elena and Rick couldn't make it, work intervened. :-(

They missed some cool moonrises! The moon was huuuuuge on Saturday night!

Here's a darker one, but I really like it!
The weekend took a turn for the stressful on the ride home. ha ha Jim and I had fun up north, until yesterday when we left (which, accurately, cannot be considered still "up north", since we'd left! ha ha).

So, to illustrate some of the fun, here's a few pics from the trip!

We stopped at Frankenmuth for chicken and fudge (not together!), and it was the only nice part of our day after we'd left the cottage.

We met a nice horsie... and my shirt says "Will Work 4 Shoes"!

Shoes! There's an "s" on there!

See, Jim looks crabby because of all the people who've asked if I work for hoes... LOL

I tried on hats...

...it was black and red and said "Bad Angel". Of course, in a whole store of cutesy clever girly stuff, I gravitated to the tiny corner of Halloween stuff! ha ha

And Jim spent a lot of time trying to feed the waterfowl. I think he threw all of our hamburger buns in the water, and only got attention from one seagull. They became buddies. LOL We found, seagulls are much shyer up north than they are at home -- at home you get dive-bombed by seagulls wanting what you're eating and have no intention of giving them, and up north you throw bread at them and they skitter away! ha ha
Action shot!
Please, come eat the bread! Waiting...

It's like... "Orson" seagulls vs. "Mookie" seagulls!
You know how they say "you can never really know a person"? I discovered something new about Jim this weekend...

Jim can throw wadded-up balls of bread really really far! ha ha

Driving was exhausting -- lane stoppages, orange barrels and traffic shifts (oh my!) almost the whole way, detours and I-75 closed in two spots. I finally gave up and took 94 to 39 to Pelham home. I was DONE with 75. ha ha

Then it was unpacking, two calls from my mom, paying attention to three lonely cats, organizing all the food from the coolers and leftovers back into the fridge (I didn't have enough time after finding out we'd be a twosome instead of a foursome to scale back the portions of the food I'd already made, so we had wayyy too much), and off to bed for me. I threw in a load of laundry and called it a night. I was pooped! Unfortunately, I couldn't fall asleep until after midnight, so I'm on shaky ground today. ha ha

Good thing work is busy, or I'd be nodding off! Jim's the lucky one, he had today off. I doubt he's feeling lucky, though, since I left him three or four things to do around the house and then asked him to sort the recycling and drop it off in Wyandotte. He's probably still sleeping, I have no idea what time he came to bed -- he was still up when I finally fell asleep past midnight...

Jim liked the cottage so much, he's jealous that we're going back in less than a month (the girls). ha ha

I have a few more pics to post, but I have to get back to work for a few minutes... or hours. More later! :-)

One more day!

Ahhh... only one more day until Sanford Lake! I'm leaving at 1 today so I can go home and get the food ready that I'm taking, get the house picked up a bit, pack, and do some laundry. Poor Jim, when he gets home he'll be drafted into vacuuming and getting the garbage ready to go out before we leave tomorrow. I think it's my turn to change the litter boxes. :-P

Aren't you glad you're reading this fascinating account of our chores for today?? ha ha

Seriously though, here's where I plan to spend a good amount of time:

Okay, you gutterminds, I meant catching up on my sleep! ha ha

Having a broken toe and torn ligament has been very tiring, I can't even stand for fifteen minutes to load the dishwasher -- I have to keep sitting down! ha ha

A nice big bed with a patio door (not having to use two fans to strategically aim the airflow into the bedroom, like at home), not to mention a view of the huge yard and the lake...

heaven!

Ooh, not MAYHEM!

I saw this pic on a list of the worst tattoos, and the caption cracked me up!

If you can't read it, it says:

Oooooh, look out everyone, Tommy Lee promises MAYHEM. Please, Tommy. You can give us danger, bedlam or tomfoolery. Anything but mayhem.

That's great.

Sanford Lake weather, as of today!

I'm soooo looking forward to going up north! It'll be my only vacation of the year, so far.

Don't even get me started about how bummed I am that I didn't get to visit Shelle and the kids. :-(

But here's the weather we're expecting. Good weather for a lake during the days, good weather for sleeping at night!

Thu Aug 14 (when Jim and I go up)
Partly Cloudy
81°/57°
20 % chance of precipitation

Fri Aug 15 (when Elena and Rick go up)
Partly Cloudy
81°/59°
20 % chance of precipitation

Sat Aug 16
Partly Cloudy
80°/60°
20 % chance of precipitation

Sun Aug 17 (when we all go home, stopping in Lansing to pick up Elena's niece and get dinner)
Scattered T-Storms
81°/60°
40 % chance of precipitation

Who's your buddy toe??

Jen and I were emailing about my latest "toe-ragedy" (sound it out) on Saturday, and we had the following discussion…

Jen: I broke my right baby toe a couple of months ago. This is why I don't believe in evolution. Toes are so prone to breakage that, if evolution were so true, wouldn't they have evolved to something less breakable by now? Hmmm . . .

Becky: I'm totally in agreement with your opinion of evolution and baby toes! I've said to Jim, if it weren't that we need them for balance and for showing off colors we won't wear on our fingers, I feel toes are a useless appendage! Mine are, anyway! The fourth toe on my left foot is deformed by a foot surgery a few years ago (the deformation is due to my ignoring my podiatrist's instructions, not from a botched performance on his part), and it curves to the right. When I broke my left pinky toe and tore the ligament, it was kind of funny... (I hope this doesn't gross you out) -- my pinky toe curved to the left, and my fourth toe curved more pronouncedly (big word for a not-so-little lady!) to the right. It was like they weren't speaking. LOL The fourth toe wasn't damaged this time, but the swelling of my pinky toe made it move over temporarily. ha ha

My poor podiatrist -- he said he saw my name on the schedule and did this: (pantomimes crossing fingers on both hands) "please say it's a callus, please say it's a callus". LOL He's so great.

Jen: I love the term taping the broken toe to the "buddy toe", though. That always cracks me up!

Becky: I love the term "buddy toe" too, I always want to coo and congratulate them on being such good friends that the one will hold the other one up in its time of need. LOL

Hey, I'd be your buddy toe! bwaaaa ha ha ha haaaaaaaa

New Dresden photo

Jim thought my previous pic of Dresden looked evil, and wanted me to "set the record straight" by posting a nice pic of Dresden.

To clarify, I was going for evil when I posted that last picture, but I found one I think Jim will like. I call this "Dresden, Ladies Man".

It just needs the caption of "Hello, girrrls!" (spoken in Squiggy's voice from Laverne & Shirley). ha ha I'm going to see if I can find the audio file for that... LOL

Damn you, decades-old joke with Shelle, daaaaaaamn youuuuu! ha ha

Okay, here I go again, stealing parts of Shelle's blog. But in this case, I think you'll quickly grasp the need for this...

===================================

Shelle's blog, July 4th 2008:

New shoe, the 4th

Notice I said "shoe" and not "shoes" because this is what I get to wear around for the next 2 weeks...

I'm so thrilled, can you tell?!! Here's the culprit:

I tripped over it letting the dogs out on Monday and whacked my big toe into it, cracking it in 2 spots. Now, I would like to say that this is the first time I've broken a toe. I'd like to say that. What can I say, I'm a klutz! And unfortunately my daughter takes after me. Well, maybe I should change my nailpolish to match the lovely shade of purple I've got on my foot! ewwww...don't worry, I won't show you a picture of my toe!!

===================================

Back to my story. Thursday morning, Aug. 7th before work... I kicked the chair in our hallway, a lovely blue wicker chair with evil spindly legs! Here's my culprit:

And the requisite pic of my new shoe!

Now, for the explanation of my subject line... Shelle and I have been breaking toes in tandem for 17 years. I broke the first toe of our joke when I was 19. She teased me, and about a year and a half later, called to tell me she was sorry for teasing me and that it was mean of her (we'd spoken a million times between these calls). I asked "what did you do??" and it turned out she'd broken a toe. ha ha Over the years since then, we've told each other about our broken toes, and ended the story with "so you're next!". And every time that happens, the un-broken-toe friend declares that no, it'll end here and I won't be next... until we break the next toe.

Shelle called me in July and told me about her accident, and I of course said that I wasn't going to break any toes to keep up with my end of the bargain.

I have to call her and let her know it's her turn again. Unless she reads my blog first. In that case... you're next!! LOL

And, just to let you know how deep our friendship runs, here's a pic of us in Knoxville, TN, on the 4th of July 2005.

Not only had it been my turn to break a toe so bad that summer that it needed surgery (note the attractive surgical shoe), but if you look at our "normal" shoes you might notice that we've got the same sandals on. Not intentionally! We didn't even realize that we were wearing the same shoes until years later...

And now, Shelle has broken her toe on the 4th of July, three years later. Coincidence? I think not!

Just a cartoon for kitty lovers!

You're gonna love this video... especially if you own this cat! For me, his name is Dresden!

"Let Sleeping Owners Lie"

My dye-a-bee-tiss-tees...

So, after 23 years of being hypoglycemic, this past March I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.

If you're me (and most people I hear), you pronounce it "dye-a-bee-tees". If you're my mom, and/or from the South (excuse me, fellow Mitch Hedberg fans, the S--th), you say "dye-a-bee-tiss". You also treat it like a proper name, and call it "THE dye-a-bee-tiss". For example, "no, I can't go shopping with you, I've got the Diabetes". LOL Like you're the one carrying it for the week...

It cracks me up. But I love my mom (and look, it's here in print), and respect her for going decades with the diabetes, and for now teasing me that she doesn't like how my testing machine pokes the palm instead of the fingers, and itches after you're done.

That being said, this has been a struggle for me. Not the "Oh, I can't go on" kind of struggle, but the "this is an annoying part of my now-daily life" struggle. I've found I can't drink juices; they're too high in sugar. I can eat fruit, because that has fiber and nutrition along with it.

I have to limit my alcohol intake. Which, actually, hasn't been a problem... since Texas Roadhouse took their dollar margaritas to two-dollar-margaritas, to two-ninety-nine margaritas, to "we don't have specials on the margaritas anymore", I don't drink much. Gas costs too much for me to travel to Kim's in Southfield, so I've fallen out of the habit of drinking once a week for our movie nights. I expect to tinker with this formula a bit on our girls' birthday weekend up north, though.

Wait, I mean our Girls' Birthday Weekend Up North. I'm looking forward to it so much that it requires formal capitalization... ha ha

Jim and I went out to eat Saturday night after the Allen Park street fair, to a new restaurant which I can't remember the name, it was so good. :-) He ordered a beer. I asked the waitress what was in their $4 Rum Runner, and was told it was this juice, that juice, another juice, grenadine (red sugar water) and rum. Sighing, with an aside to Jim that it was too much juice, I ordered iced tea.

Jim made a comment that I completely agree with -- "I liked it better when you were hypoglycemic!". Me too, darlin'... me too. Hypoglycemia was easier to manage.

So I leave you for the moment with a recipe from the dye-a-bee-tees website, which actually sounds good! Okay, yes, I did have the thought that it would be especially good with vodka... LOL

Recipe of the Day (from the American Diabetes Association)

Mango Frappe

Mangoes are the star in this wonderfully sweet and fizzy frappe. Serve over ice in a tall glass. If fresh mangos are not available, look for frozen mangos (no sugar added, available in some grocery stores).

Number of Servings: 3
Serving Size: 1 cup

Today's recipe is brought to you by: V8

(also the color blue and the letter 'K'). ha ha

Ingredients
1 whole ripe mango, peeled and pitted
¾ C orange juice
¼ C lime Juice
1 ¼ C club soda
2 ice cubes

Puree the mango in a food processor or blender. Add the orange and lime juices; process until smooth.
Add the club soda and ice cubes; process just to blend and crush the ice. Serve at once.

Nutrition Information (per serving)
Calories 83
Calories From Fat 2
Total Fat 0 g
Saturated Fat 0 g
Cholestrol 0 mg
Sodium 27 mg
Total Carbohydrate 22 g
Dietary Fiber 2 g
Sugars 18 g
Protein 1 g

It's not easy being green...

Now, I don't want anyone to think I don't come up with my own ideas of what to write... but I read Shelle's blog every few days just to spy on her crafty scrapbookin' pics of my niece and nephew. :-)

She's got a link on her blog to a website (http://www.5minutesforgoinggreen.com/) that's got some good tips on recycling and going green. Hey, if we've all gotta live on the same planet, we might as well make it last!

Elena takes the credit -- rightfully so -- on converting me into a recycling fool several years ago, and I've got Jim doing it at home, and I take recycling stuff for the coworkers in my department. You wouldn't believe how many plastic water bottles 30 people will go through in an 18-hour day!

So check the site and get recycling!

P.S. I hope my dear parents are reading this -- they don't recycle to the point that they actually throw out returnables! Boo, hiss!

Popular! You're gonna be pop-ular!

Elena and I went to East Lansing yesterday to see the musical "Wicked". So great! It was so much fun, even with the funny little quirks that she and I seem to be prone to...

• We wanted to leave at 10 a.m., so it was almost 11 when we got on the road.
• After an hour and a half, and pulling into the parking garage at the Wharton Center, we discovered the tickets were still on Elena's bread machine in Wyandotte. Crisis averted, they gave us "vouchers" to find our seats.
• We thought we had fourth row, we had second! All right! Wait, we're so far to the right that there's a flying monkey in our way... ha ha
• The weird lady next to Elena was eating, sucking on her teeth, getting her keys out before the end of the show, and she laughed like a robot through the whole three hours.
• We stopped at a gas station on the way home, and Elena said the bathroom was so disgusting she felt inclined to tell the cashier... who could've cared less.

Did I mention the quirks? ha ha

But Meggie Cansler (the Ga-linda understudy)'s rendition of the song "Popular" was the highlight of the show for me... she's got some pipes, that girl!

On the good side, we met up with my friend Mark from my MSU days, and we had dinner at El Azteco ("El Az" to the locals, and us former-locals), then went for ice cream. Elena taste tested about a dozen flavors before settling on vanilla... which in my opinion is a non-flavor! We walked around a bit of the campus, and I had Mark take a picture of me in front of the old English hall, Morrill Hall. I miss that place, it reminded me of my grandparents' house with cigar smoke remnants in the air and the creaky, rolling buckled wood floors...

Morrill Hall, 1912 (large bldg. on the left)

Morrill Hall, date unknown (relatively current)




I wanted a pic of me at Morrill Hall (but it's not posted, it was on my phone and it's too small), because apparently it won't be around much longer: http://kevinforsyth.net/ELMI/morrill-hall.htm